Attitude Adjustment

Those of you who know me personally know me to be a generally happy person, very even in my responses to things. Hey, I’ve worked long and hard to get here! But like everyone I have my moments when a switch gets flipped and I go from being open, happy and relaxed to closed, frustrated and angry. I had such an experience this week.

The details of what happened are not really all that interesting, but what was fascinating was to watch this shift take place in my attitude. I decided to bring curiosity to the moment and explore how and why it happened rather than get caught up in what happened. (Isn’t that what we usually do? We dwell so much on the play-by-play that we end up blaming someone else rather than taking responsibility for our own feelings and actions!)

I recently learned that three things contribute to the flipping of this switch. And they are definitely worth exploring:

First, we can be blinded by emotion. This occurs when we hold fast to a belief or attitude and refuse to budge. We won’t see any viewpoints other than our own, so it’s easy to get triggered by something someone says or does.

Second, we can be locked into trauma because of past events in our life that we haven’t yet fully integrated. This can be memories of perceived wrongs or actual experiences of violence or betrayal.

Third, we can simply be physically ill, tired or hungry. We all know we are not at our best when our energy is low.

After I noticed the switch in my attitude, I did a couple of things to calm down (I’ll share them below) and then I was able to see that I was both tired and hungry. Wow, now I understood what had really happened and could stop blaming another person for “making” me angry.

Here are two practices to calm the body and mind so that you can see more clearly too:

One, take a full breath in through the nose and a full breath out through the mouth. Do this 3-5 times. As an alternative, hum on the exhalation. You may remember that humming releases nitric oxide into the body which has a calming effect on the nervous system. Research has shown that humming releases a whopping 15x more NO into the body than nose breathing!

Two, cross your wrists over your heart and place your hands on opposite sides of the upper chest. Your fingers will touch your collar bones. Gently alternately thump your hands on your chest by bending at the wrists. Do this slowly for a minute or more. You will be amazed at how quickly you calm down. (If you have kids, teach this one to them!!)

Observe your reactions to the world and take responsibility for what you see. Life will look different to you, I promise.