I love the feeling of muscles releasing their tension. It usually happens just before I fall asleep or if I am reclining for savasana or yoga nidra. Relaxation is an essential, but often missed, action of the muscular system. Fortunately, yoga is an excellent way to experience muscle relaxation AND teach the body to receive it more easily. 

Have you ever noticed the deeper layers of tension that often exist in the body? Even when we think we’re relaxing, we’re still gripping and holding different parts of the body. Maybe it’s a place where we have an injury or chronic pain, or it might just be a place where tension likes to regularly reside in our body. Happily, if we’re aware of these places, we can actually send our attention there so we can soften and release.

Here are two ways to practice muscle relaxation through yoga:

First, go through a yoga session and end with at least 15 minutes of savasana. Here’s the magic of yoga: it begins with breathing or meditation to corral the energy (prana), gets the body moving in all directions to spread the prana, then gently pulls the prana back just enough to balance the nervous system through relaxation. If you skip savasana at the end, you still get the stretch and strength, but you don’t get the relaxation, and the yoga session is not complete.

Second, you can practice guided relaxation. There are two ways to do this: One is active and the second is passive. The active approach is called progressive relaxation where you squeeze a muscle group (like an arm or leg), hold it in the contraction for several seconds, then completely let it go. You move progressively through the body until you end with squeezing the whole body at the same time, finally releasing into full body relaxation.

The passive approach is used in yoga nidra, a guided meditation that brings peace to body, mind and spirit. In this practice the leader invites you to bring your awareness to multiple points in the body known as “marma points,” or vital energy points. You might be asked to take a breath at each point, place an image or sound at each point, or simply place your awareness there. I find it hard to do this practice without falling asleep.

The best part about these practices is that they are also training for the times when we really want to relax, such as when we’re trying to get to sleep at night. Give them a try and discover the magic of yoga for yourself.

I had two fascinating conversations in the past week—one with my sister and another with a young friend. Two very different stories, but both provocative examples of the value of letting go and letting be.

My sister recently fell down the stairs and broke her arm. She had surgery to insert hardware and now she is waiting to heal. It’s a tough break because it is her dominant hand, which means she is quite limited in what she can do. This is doubly frustrating for her because she is an active person who takes on all responsibility for the house, inside and outside. Her ability to clean, cook, work in the yard and do household projects has been seriously curtailed. When I asked her how she was handling the abrupt change, she said “Honey, I do what I can do and ask for help.” Letting go and letting be.

My young friend is at a crossroads in his life. Presented with two options, he is frustrated, scared, angry and stuck, unable to take the next step. As I talk with him, it sounds to me that he is unhappy with the options he sees and wants things to be different than they actually are. He doesn’t quite have the imagination for the practice of letting go and letting be, but I wonder what could unfold for him if he could step into the future with the confidence that the road would rise up to meet him? Letting go and letting be.

I first heard this phrase from one of my yoga nidra teachers. When we move into that deep rest and hypnagogic state which is the gift of practicing yoga nidra, we enter the realm of letting go and letting be, where there is nothing to do and no one to be.

You are accepted completely as you are.

There is nothing to do to prove your worthiness.

You inherit the same gifts which are freely given to all.

You might enjoy reflecting today on what “letting go and letting be” means to you. Where do you practice it more easily (like giving in to a pleasurable experience, no guilt allowed)? Where do you struggle to do it (resistance of any kind, especially the need to have things go your own way)? Perhaps you’ll be able to take a leap of faith and let the arms of love catch you today.

I am surrounded by nappers.

Four of the nappers are fur babies, all cats, who sleep more than they are awake. The other napper is my partner in life, my spouse, who has taken afternoon naps for as long as I have known him. He loves his afternoon nap! He gets up early, writes for several hours, exercises, has tea and homemade bread, then takes a nap. He rises rejuvenated, refreshed and ready for the second half of his day.

I am not a napper. It’s not that I don’t like them, it’s just that I have always been a fitful sleeper and I find that if I take a nap during the day I sleep even more poorly at night. (As an aside, I have learned so much about sleep from Dr. Michael Breus, aka “the sleep doctor”, and discovered that my intuition not to nap is a good one.)

Because I don’t take a nap, I tend to work all day and even into the night since I teach several nights a week. This is bad news for me, my friends! Not only is this practice bad for my health, it also negatively affects my productivity.

Every body and mind need rest to digest food and emotions, to balance the nervous system, and to support healthy living for the long term.

Over the past year, one word keeps showing up in my meditations—REST. I have been on a quest to understand this message which arises from deep in my soul.

I will share with you some ways I incorporate rest into my day. Please notice what is NOT included: drinking alcohol or caffeine, playing video games, reading, binge-watching shows, spending time with friends. While these can certainly be pleasant activities, and they do give us a break from “work,” it is not right to call them “rest.” Rest calms body and mind, while leisure activities continue to agitate body and mind.

Here are some of the ways I incorporate rest into my day:

Meditation breaks at noon and late afternoon provide quiet. They help me notice any whispers of pain or discomfort that may be brewing so I can take care of them before get overwhelming.

Yoga nidra guided meditation, either self-guided or with a recording, let me lie down or sit in a relaxed position and take a deep dive into the intentions of my heart.

Restorative yoga with lots of physical support—pillows, blankets, cushions—with an eye covering or darkened room bring the autonomic nervous system into balance so that my stress response is mitigated.

Occasional naps with a furry companion, because they are, after all, our best teachers.

“Replace ‘I will relax when. . .’ with ‘I choose to relax now.’” -Alan Cohen