My yoga mentor Judith Lasater routinely asks a startling question, always with a mischievous grin on her face: “I know you can do more, but can you do less?” She asks this in the context of Yoga, but she intends for it to be a question about Life. The question makes me wonder: Why do we think that doing something is always the answer? What if doing less—or not doing anything at all—was the better response to most of the situations we find ourselves in?

Here are two ways I have tried to practice this over the years. I haven’t always been successful, but that was only because I decided to DO SOMETHING sooner than I needed to.

Wait and observe. This is not always the easiest thing to do and yet it has been the wisest course of action at many points in my life. There are times when I have stood back and allowed someone else to act first or given people space to figure it out on their own without me giving my sage advice. What I’ve learned through watching other people is 1) there are many different ways to tackle life’s issues and problems and 2) I don’t always know the best way to do that.

Become a smaller target. If you’re the kind of person people come to for advice or if you just want to be helpful to others, you can easily become a BIG target when things go wrong. Ouch, I’ve been there many times! You can become a small target instead by following the wait and observe practice above and by not being attached to any result. And I do mean ANY result. Just like you I want things to go my way; this is a very human way to see life. However, once we act or refrain from acting, we have very little control over how things turn out. Take a deep breath and watch things unfold.

Right now think of a situation where you routinely do something to fix it, make life easier for someone else, or prevent something worse from happening. How could you “wait and observe” and “become a smaller target”? I challenge you to try these tactics and discover what happens when you do less instead of more.

I love the fall season for so many reasons, but mainly because my partner and I get to retreat! For many years in October we have attended Texas Yoga Retreat just outside of Austin. It’s got to be the best regional yoga retreat with small class sizes all taking place in an actual Hindu ashram. But you don’t have to go away to retreat; you can retreat right where you are. Here’s how:

Slow down, my friend. Yes, life seems to be speeding up due to the increasing use of technology. Yes, we are heading back into the school year and sliding into the holidays. But here’s the thing: We each have to make the decision to live our own lives with confidence and courage. Do we really want to be sheep who do what we’re told by the media and advertisers according to the demands of the calendar? Look at your own calendar this week and choose one thing to remove. Don’t you feel better already?

Take a day to be quiet (by yourself, if you can swing it). Turn off all the technology. Put away the computer, the television and the phone. Commune with nature, read inspiring books, write in a journal, make art, sing songs, dance and play. Take a nap! You’ll get more in touch with yourself which is the most important relationship you’ll ever have in life.

Be kind to yourself. This is a wonderful opportunity to cook yourself healthy, nurturing fall foods, like soup, stew or casserole. Massage your body with grounding sesame oil. Mix up an enticing essential oil blend. Wear clean, soft, comfy clothes. Practice restorative yoga, yin yoga or yoga nidra. Not only will you feel great, you’ll give a boost to your immune system which may just prevent illness this fall.

Finally, reflect on these powerful words from the poet Rumi:

Don’t go off sightseeing.
The real journey is right here.
The great excursion starts from exactly where you are.
You are the world.
You have everything you need.
You are the secret.
You are the wide opened.
Don’t look for the remedy for your troubles outside yourself.
You are the medicine.
You are the cure for your own sorrow.
-Rumi