When you know the rules you know how to play the game, right? And yet, as we all know, life does not come to us with a set of rules that work for everyone at every phase of life.

What is a rule, anyway? Many of us bristle at the word “rule” because we think it means something rigid, limiting and ultimately punitive. But over the years I have studied religious communities, many of which follow what is called a “Rule.” In these communities the Rule is considered a ruler, a measuring stick that helps one order their life. For the Christian monastics the members agreed to follow the Rule as a way to live day-to-day and to live together in community.

Over the years of practicing Yoga I have come to see that it has its own rules which can assist in ordering a yoga practice. And because Yoga includes body-mind-spirit, these rules can also be very helpful in ordering one’s life too. So as a new year begins, and perhaps to inspire you to re-commit to your yoga practice, I am starting a series on “Rules of Yoga, Rules for Life.” (Thanks to Kathy P. for the suggestion!)

In this post, I highlight what I think is the most important aspect of practicing Yoga: Have fun! Whether we’re practicing at home or in a classroom, we should enjoy our practice. If we are having fun and our body-mind-spirit are enjoying the practice, we will want to come back for more. It really is that simple.

“Have fun” is a terrific life rule as well. I know, I know that not everything we do in life is “fun.” Over the holidays I spent time with a family member who was hospitalized, and this was definitely not what we wanted to be doing, especially over the holidays! And yet, we had to marvel at our great fortune to have been born in a time and place where a nasty virus could be treated so quickly and easily with fluids, antibiotics, pain meds and rest. Thinking of that makes me very happy (and grateful too).

So this week, please take time to have fun in yoga class. Standing in a balance imagine yourself as the tree, the eagle, or the moon. Holding a challenging plank or down dog, say to yourself with a smile “I am strong.” Then see if you can bring that sense of playfulness to the rest of your life. Because in Yoga as in life, joy is your birthright

Today we arrive at joy, one of the Four Boundless States: Equanimity, Lovingkindness, Compassion and Joy. (Check out the three prior blog posts for the others!) Joy is an extension of lovingkindness for when we extend goodwill to someone who is happy we naturally want to see their happiness continue.

Boundless joy is seeing the happiness of others then actively generating an inner joy because they are so happy. An example is when you see a child giggling while petting a dog; you can’t help but be drawn into their joy. Or when your friend opens a gift on their birthday and they are so delighted to do so; you love and care for them so you also feel joy in their delight.

Of course, the practice of boundless joy can be a challenging one too, such as when someone in our profession gets a promotion or something really great happens for them that we wish would happen for us too. Maybe it’s not yet our time to have this good thing in our life and it can sting to see someone else so happy. It’s for a time such as this that we have to make the cultivation of joy a daily practice, for when we appreciate the many moments of joy that show up in our lives every day, we are more able to celebrate the joys that unfold in others’ lives too.

Here are some ways to work with the practice of boundless joy:

Joy Journal: You’ve heard of a gratitude journal, right? In this practice we actively look for and write down moments of joy in our day. It’s always easier to feel our own joy so focus on yourself first—you got a parking spot right when and where you wanted it, one of your favorite songs came on the radio and you sang out loud in the car, you saw an amazing sunrise or sunset. Pay attention! Opportunities for joy are all around you.

Bring joy to someone else: Do things that are simple and heartfelt, like writing an encouraging note to a co-worker or smiling at the clerk in the store. Remember times when you were the source of joy for someone else and how good that made you feel.

Meditate on joy: In the Buddhist and Vedic traditions, boundless joy is also a way of meditating because it helps us expand our own joyful heart. Think about the things that bring you joy and consider how it would be if others could experience that same joy. Yes, even meditate on the tough things like seeing someone else having the success that you long for yourself. How can you generate heartfelt and true happiness for them? Isn’t this the same happiness you would want others to feel for you?

“How can we feel joy for another person when we do not feel joy for ourselves? Joy is for everyone.” -Thich Nhat Hanh
 
This is the last of our series on the Four Boundless States. They are called the “brahma-viharas” which literally means “dwelling place of the brahmas,” or “the place where God dwells.” When we think about the qualities of equanimity, lovingkindness, compassion and joy, they dwell in one place only, and that is in your heart.

We brought home an abandoned kitten. She was about 9 months old and very sweet. We thought we would find a home for her very quickly. But it soon became evident that she was expecting babies, so we knew we were in for an interesting journey. She had four beautiful kittens—two yellow boys and two gray girls. Now I think I’m going to give up teaching yoga and offer “kitten therapy.”

They are at the age now where they are engaging more with us humans and not so tied to their mama. Their favorite game is climb in your lap, into your arms, up your leg. You can’t be sad when you have a fluffy, squeaky kitten nearby (unless, of course, you are terrified of kittens, in which case it would be best to stay clear of our house for a while).

Here are few things I have learned this past couple of months:

I can trust the Universe to deliver things right on time. I didn’t know that I needed kittens in my life, but Life did! I have been learning how to take a deep breath, relax, and step into the future with more confidence and trust. These things are unfolding for reasons we cannot know or understand.

I must follow through on my responsibilities and let go of the results. Mama kitty knew exactly what to do when her time came and she has continued to be attentive to her kittens during these early weeks. And, when the time is right, she will let them go without a worry of where they are going. This is another lesson in trust, namely, trusting myself and those who are on this journey with me.

I need joy in my life every single day. I have a resident smile factory right now and I plan to take full advantage of it. But these kittens will not always be here, so I’m already considering ways to keep the joy flowing without turning my home into a cat colony.

Maybe you can take some time to consider the life lessons that are unfolding for you today. Where have you been, where are you going, and where do you find yourself today?